Bravado! Designs | Abbie: Yes, We're Still Nursing!

Abbie: Yes, We're Still Nursing!

Abbie is mother to one-year-old Joshua, wife to Ed, an environmentalist and teacher who believes in following her maternal instincts and being a steward to the Earth. After going back to work when Joshua was six months old, Abbie successfully expressed milk until his first birthday. Since then, Abbie happily retired the pump and has continued to breastfeed on-cue when she’s not at work.

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Celebrating 18 Months of Nursing

Joshua is now 18 months old, which also means that I’ve been breastfeeding for 18 months! I’ve decided to combine two of my favorite things—breastfeeding and math—to calculate the actual amount of time I’ve spent breastfeeding in the past year and a half. Disclaimer 1: I’m a huge nerd and this was actually really fun for me. Disclaimer 2: I had to do some rounding and estimating. Next time I have a baby I may just carry around a stopwatch so that I can get an exact accounting of time spent breastfeeding. Disclaimer 3: If you’re a new mom and are feeling kind of anxious about how much time you spend nursing your baby, you might not want to read this right now. Okay, on to the calculations!

9:00am on Monday October 17

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Back To School

Every year when the end of August rolls around I experience that same flutter of excitement about going back to school. I both anticipate the start of a new school year and dread the end of summer vacation. I love being home on break, but I also love teaching.

This year is no different. I’m sad to see summer coming to a close, but at the same time I know I’ve made the most of my time at home with Joshua.

9:00am on Friday September 23

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Readjusting Expectations: A Look Back at 15 Months of Fatherhood

Since Joshua joined our family 15 months ago, we have constantly had to readjust our expectations. My husband Ed has been supportive and allowed me to take the lead by following my instincts and doing what I feel is best for Joshua, including breastfeeding.

I always knew that I wanted to breastfeed Joshua, and Ed was always supportive. In the early days, we quickly realized that family meal time was on hold for a little while. Evenings consisted of a fussy baby who only wanted to nurse for hours on end, and Ed supported me following my instincts and nursing Joshua for comfort for those hours. Ed took over the responsibilities of fixing supper and cleaning up, even going so far as to serve meals to me so I could focus on mothering Joshua during those difficult times. He didn’t argue with my instinct to comfort-nurse, he kept complaining to a minimum, and in allowing me to build a strong nursing relationship with Joshua, Ed also showed me that I could depend on him when I most needed him. In turn, I showed him that I had the patience to deal with a fussy baby, modeling how I would like Ed to parent as well.

The "witching hour," or fussy time during the early evening, was only the pre-game for the real difficulty: night-time parenting. We never planned to cosleep with Joshua, but we found that it was the only way we could all get some sleep. Cosleeping has also contributed to development of a strong family bond as well as a healthy breastfeeding relationship. I think of cosleeping as a survival strategy, not this wonderful thing that our family does. It’s hard, especially for Ed, to handle being woken up repeatedly. At 15 months, Joshua is a much better sleeper than he used to be, but he has yet to sleep through the night once. Sleep deprivation can be an obstacle to a happy marriage.

In the wee hours of the morning, when Joshua is having a bad night, Ed can be prone to get angry with me about cosleeping. In our sleep-deprived state, it’s easy to argue about what we’re doing right and what we’re doing wrong, compare ourselves to parents whose kids are good sleepers, or second guess our decision to cosleep. I take these conversations as criticism of my parenting choices, and I get really sensitive about it. After one particularly heated discussion at 2 am, after a wakeful night with our teething toddler and lots of nursing, I expressed my desperation as tears rolled down my face: "I’m just doing what I feel is best." Ed simply replied that he knows I’m following my instincts, and he has readjusted his expectations about toddler sleep.

Over the past 15 months, I’ve learned that both Joshua and I can depend on Ed as a husband and father when we need him most. He trusts me, trusts my instincts, and is willing to follow my lead in parenting when it comes to breastfeeding and other issues I feel strongly about. It’s easier for me to trust my own instincts when I have his support, and our relationship is better for it.

9:00am on Friday June 24

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Nursing Acrobatics and Other Adventures in Toddler Nursing

The major difference that I’ve noticed between nursing a newborn and nursing a toddler is that Joshua no longer lies quietly in my arms as he nurses. He wiggles all around, managing to kick me in the face with one foot and in the belly with the other. He pokes me in the eyes, mouth, nose. He pops off whenever he hears an interesting noise. He rolls around to change positions while still latched on. He wants to nurse while standing, sitting, or upside down. He holds onto his favorite toy or a sippy cup, then intermittently stops nursing to chew on it or drink his water.

9:00am on Friday May 27

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Weaning from the Pump

At the same time that I was transitioning Joshua from my expressed milk to cow's milk while we are separated, I was also weaning myself from the pump. I was a little concerned that quitting the pump cold turkey would result in clogged ducts or mastitis, so I slowly decreased pumping over the course of three weeks.

Here's how I did it.

10:59pm on Wednesday May 4

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