Enough Bonding Moments?

Mike Schaffer

Posted By: Mike Schaffer

Your eyes are not deceiving you! Mike Schaffer is here to provide our first-ever male breastfeeding perspective.

Can I be a bit of a potential downer here?

Like, not a TOTAL downer.  Maybe a bit selfish.  Is that ok?

I want to share something that’s been on my mind.

Breastfeeding is awesome.  Just peruse the archives of my blog and all of my fellow bloggers and you’ll find hundreds of reasons why it’s incredible.

Nutrition, bonding, reflexes – the whole thing.

But when you make the decision to feed directly from the breast as much as possible, there is something missing.

Between feedings at home and daycare, I don’t get to give my daughter a lot of bottles.  We have made a conscious decision to let her eat direct from the breast as much as possible.

You hear all about how breastfeeding is a wonderful bonding experience between mother and child. And it is.  

However, with fewer bottles to be given at home, I’ve been largely outside the feeding sphere.

Let me be clear that I gladly support my wife in feeding activities.  This includes things like doing nearly all of the burping, playing a daily role in the pumping/storing process and packing up all the bottles for daycare in the morning.

Instead of bonding with my daughter, I’m reinforcing my role as husband.  I dig that.

But I miss out on a lot of those feeding-related bonding moments.

This hit me the other day.  My wife was on a business trip and I was taking care of the baby in the morning.  

We snuggled on the couch as she had breakfast and it was awesome.

I loved the constant eye-contact as I cradled her with one arm.  It gave me some quiet moments where I could just think about the past few months and my journey from expectant dad to a father holding his daughter.

I know I’ll have more bottle moments down the road.

And I know that there are other dads that may think I’m crazy for WANTING to give more bottles.  Am I trying to mess up a good thing?


But I can’t imagine disliking something that lets me spend more time with my daughter. 

9:00am on Wednesday October 19


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