The Sound of Silence

Mike Schaffer

Posted By: Mike Schaffer

Your eyes are not deceiving you! Mike Schaffer is here to provide our first-ever male breastfeeding perspective.

Imagine this peaceful world:

No crying baby. No strange noises coming from the breast pump. No soapy water in the sink.

It’s deafening – the sound of silence.

I doubt Simon and Garfunkel were thinking about new babies and breastfeeding when they wrote that song, but it works here.

So many movies and TV shows stereotype parents as people that crave literally SECONDS of silence and serenity. We’re not talking hours, or even minutes. Just a few quiet seconds here and there.

I never expected to be that guy – and my wife never thought she would get excited about breastshields being available at Target. It’s a season of surprises!

You may think I’m referring to solitude, but I’m not.

A quiet moment with me and Hava is priceless.

Our Daddy-Daughter time is so important to me, especially when she doesn’t need soothing.

I love those moments where we can snuggle on the floor…or when she falls asleep on my shoulder, her little arms wrapped as far around my shoulders as they can go.

My favorite quiet moment is when she’s wide awake, but so calm. If we’re by a mirror, I’ll try to contort my body so I can catch a glimpse of her face in the reflection, content in her daddy’s arms.

For new parents, there isn’t a ton of feedback you get from the baby. Your infant can’t say, “Nice job wiping my tush, pops!”

And when babies are true newborns, they don’t really respond to all that much. They just eat, sleep and poop!

Why are these moments so special?

Breastfeeding moms have built-in bonding time in their day, 10-30 minute chunks of time where they can concentrate on their baby and vice versa.

For us dads, we have to fight for that time and create our own opportunities. We’re victims of our biologies!

It’s not something I’m bitter about, since I would NOT want to trade places with my wife.

Instead, I use it as a badge of pride and a motivator. I’m proud of the work I’ve put in to maximize those quality moments, to create that bond with my child.

Of course, I definitely appreciate the true quiet times – when everyone but me and the dog are asleep, when I’m on the train home from work, when I’m mowing the lawn (which is NOT quiet).

But there is something about those quiet times I share with my daughter…they are filled with love.

9:00am on Wednesday September 28
1 comment


11:28pm on Wednesday September 28

I loved and still love those quiet times too. :-)

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