Over the past eight months the landscape of my life has done a complete 180. Before Sammy was born I had all sorts of preconceived notions about motherhood. I had this vision of breastfeeding my son that he would lay calmly in my lap peacefully drinking his mama's milk till he was content. I thought, after reading tens and tens of books, that I had an idea of what it would be like to be a breastfeeding mother. Boy, was I wrong! I had no idea. After reading all of the books I had a vague inkling of what might happen, but my Sammy is my Sammy, he is no one else's baby and he is definitely not the baby described in all the books. Since Sammy joined my life I have become more focused, more dedicated and more committed to living fulfilled, living with meaning and living with passion. Sammy has taught me how to be alive, how to live each day with conviction and passion, while still being able to go with the flow and roll with the punches. Being a breastfeeding mom is such a joy and such a challenge.
Being able to have the opportunity chronicle this journey as a part of the Bravado community has enabled me to further commit myself to my mission of breastfeeding Sammy for as long as possible. As a breastfeeding mom there are a million reasons everyday that can tempt me to wean Sammy to a bottle. Sometimes I have to tell myself, "one day at a time." Heck, sometimes I have to tell myself, "one feeding at a time." When it gets particularly taxing I think about our Bravado community and it eases the dread. This blog has given me the support and strength I need to get through the dark moments of nursing. Through every feed there is at least one moment of pure bliss that makes me feel it is all worthwhile. There is at least one moment that I wish I could instantaneously share with my friends here on the Bravado blog. There were actually moments when I felt that I would give up if it were not for this blog.
Over the crash course in motherhood I have gotten in the past eight months, I have to say the most valuable lesson has been learning to let go and live in the moment. Perhaps that is why You're Six Months Old, It's Time To Wake Up is my favorite post. No two days are the same and struggling to find a pattern is futile. By allowing myself to appreciate each day as a unique and special moment I have been able to enjoy Sammy for the little man that he is, each and every changing day.
Breastfeeding means so many things to me. We have come to know each other so well so well through it and it seems that the epicenter of our relationship has been the moments we share at the breast. I have my handsome son to thank for his continued guidance as I learn, day by day, how to be his mother. I have myself (and my husband) to thank for our continued guidance as Sammy learns, day by day, to be our little boy. I have my husband to thank for staying by my side every moment and for teaching me that despite the myriad changes around me, I am still a woman, I am still me.
Thank you to the Bravado community, to each and every one of you for believing in my ability to be a breastfeeding mom and for giving me the strength to breastfeed my son every day!