My husband was breastfed. I was not.
Something about my mom and an inverted nipple.
So when I told my mom I was choosing to nurse she warned me that the nipple issue was hereditary as my grandmother apparently had it too. And to not get my hopes up.
Hopes up. Not exactly how I was thinking about my approach to breastfeeding. If it worked out, great. But if it didn't, that would be okay too.
Because, after all, I was bottle-fed and I turned out all right.
But now I was feeling competitive and wanting it to work to prove something to my mom and her inverted nipple. And to all of the inverted nipples of the world.
And then there was my mother-in-law who bragged about how my husband was an expert nurser. Not realizing that she was adding fuel to the fire.
I started feeling strangely competitive. I'm sure I would've been an expert nurser too! Maybe even advanced- if there is such a thing. But I never even got the chance to try!
And what if my baby didn't either?
Would I be shorting my child if my boob didn't work right?
Was I shorted?
Both my mom and mother-in-law told me that sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't and that's okay.
But was it? Or were they just trying to make me feel better?
Did my husband reap benefits that I didn't? He was valedictorian of his high school class and I, well, squeaked by with a 3.5.
He and his mother are close. Are they closer than my mom and me?
Would my child be losing precious IQ points if my nipple didn't cooperate?
Would we be less bonded?
The hubs told me he was sure our baby would be fine if the breastfeeding thing didn't work out.
And that he'd be fine too.
That if he really had a problem with it, he would've never married an, er, bottle-feeder who may or may not have inherited a bum nipple.