Sammy was born when I was over 41 weeks pregnant. By the end of my pregnancy I was convinced that there was a big conspiracy theory that some women just stay pregnant forever. I thought that Sammy would never come out. I thought I was going to be that woman waddling down the street that looks like she’s about to pop… but I felt like I never would, I would just keep waddling along for another year or two. But, then it happened. I went into labor and my water broke and Sammy was on his way. Once he was born, it was hard to imagine him as anything but a days-old infant. Well, Sammy turned six-months-old this week and what I have come to realize is that it is almost impossible to imagine him as any other age than he is right now.
We visited with our three-week-old friend today. When we arrived Sammy was ready to nurse as was our tiny friend so both boys had a nice little lunch. It was remarkable to compare the two. While the newborn was curled into a little ball in the nook of his mother's arm, intently focused on nursing, my not-so-little boy's legs dangled off my lap as he curiously observed the new surroundings while sucking away. Even though Sammy was that tiny not too long ago, I'm having a hard time recalling Sammy as a three-week-old baby. I do remember, though, that when he was that age, six months seemed like a millennia away.
Something happened this week. I would almost go so far as to say that Sammy woke up. Sammy seems to have shed the last remainders of his newborn days. He does things now that were impossible for him just a few short months ago. He sits, rolls, coos, sings, and laughs, laughs and laughs. Oh, those laughs. Sammy has blossomed into a little boy, a happy, squirmy, giggly little boy. The milky grins, the fantastic belly chuckles fill my heart with so much joy. My milk has nourished him into a little gentleman. Now he’s eating real food, bananas, apples, carrots, you name it – he’s either tried it or will try it soon (if it’s a fruit or veg). It was amazing watching him eat for the first time. Somehow he just knew to chew and swallow. How did he know that? I propose that he woke up.
So, the time has come to say goodbye to my newborn son and hello to the little person version of Sammy. I realize that the moments that have passed and those to come are too hard to grasp. I am just starting to understand that I can no longer live in any moment but the present. Time has taken on a whole new meaning now that Sammy is in my life. In those tough moments time goes SO slowly, in the good moments time goes by faster than a blink. It is useless to imagine or guess at what will come just as it is useless to rehash the past. Sammy has forced me to live in the now. He has made me realize that life is happening right in front of my eyes, right here, right now.